I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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