worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
They are going to name an STD after you.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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