I just cut my nipple shaving
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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