Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
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