Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
