I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
