his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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