I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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