i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Randomize