youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
We need to get me chipped asap
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
