I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Randomize