marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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