There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Mom said you looked used
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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