Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
