honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize