can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
She tied me up with her honor cords...
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
