THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
