I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
