So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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