Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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