it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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