I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize