I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
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