Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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