I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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