Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize