is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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