Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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