I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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