before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
