What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
