u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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