maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
