Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
