Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
