I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
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