How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
