My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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