I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
