I would go down on you faster than GM stock
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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