Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
