I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Alive.
So much puke
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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