We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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