don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
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