All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
