It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
God, I missed his penis.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
