you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
