This is not my ceiling
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
