What a fucking waste of an outfit
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
