I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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