that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
