therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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