The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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