You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
