Already got asked if we're dating
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
