i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
