ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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