there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
