This girl is more easily done than said...
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
fuck your aforementioned shoe
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
