A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize