Taylor Swift is so right about you.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
