birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
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