Small penises have feelings too.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
