I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
