Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
