Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Randomize
