we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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